Totally flipped on the cat

So, one of the stranger sights I witnessed today was the way my cat chose to exit his litter box. He came screaching out like a racoon was hot on his tail, one piece of poop flew out of his bum, then he proceeded to squat and slide rapidly across the carpet, removing another piece and leaving a brownish trail in his wake. What bizarre behavior, considering there was nothing to scare him (no loud noises and I wasn't even near the litter box). So I gave him a really hard time, including a swat and a lot of yelling.

I think I'll be one of those impatient parents who eventually resorts to beating the crap out of her kids with a wooden spoon to get them to behave. I think something on my list of "husband requirements" should be someone who can prevent me from doing this!